K-Love 107.5 F.M Played in Hollywood

Listening to K-Love with an OK Love.

It’s a Saturday night and I’m resetting from a stressful week at work.

I have my candles lit, I have my tea brewing and I’m ready to get eight hours of sleep. Fuck it, maybe even nine.

I turned my phone over to hit Do Not Disturb- and yet still… I am disturbed.

I see his messages coming through my phone screen asking me to come outside.

I guess the landlord changed the code to the front gate again.
Either that, or I just forgot to give him the updated one.

I stared at my tea and thought twice before deciding if I should pretend I’m asleep or if I should just meet him.

“I know you’re up, I see your lights are still on”. read his latest text.
Fuck…

I rolled my eyes, grabbed my slippers and met him outside my apartment complex.

I’m half asleep on Franklin Ave & Garfield Pl. in East Hollywood.

I turn to my left and see his car parked in the middle of the street with the hazards on— that’s how I know he knows he’s losing me— he didn’t bother to look for parking & he didn’t care that cars kept honking at him for blocking traffic.
He’s panicked.
That’s how I know.

I walked over to him as he was pacing back and forth around his car.

He leaned in for a kiss but I pulled back.

We weren’t fighting or anything… I just wanted to be alone but he didn’t seem to understand that.
They never do.

”Are you good?” he asked.
”I’m good, are you good? It’s late”
”It’s 10:30pm…”

I swung open the passenger door ”I think you should move your car.”

I hopped in the front seat and he followed through.
”Just go on Wilton Pl. I know you’ll find something there—”
but he interrupted me “What are we doing?”
“What?” I almost say in disgust.
He repeated ”What are we doing?”

I let out a deep sigh and rolled my eyes.
”Are you serious right now, I’ve had the longest week at—”
”I don’t care if you’ve had the longest week at work, just tell me what we’re doing!”

a blue Prius honked at us as she swerved around his car.
That bitch fit, she just wanted to let off some steam, but I started to get frustrated
“Can you just park?!”
”No!” he yelled.

He wanted his answers now
which is funny because I wanted my answers then
four years ago when I was standing outside his apartment.

His voice started to crack as he said “You have me out here feeling crazy!”

I tried my hardest to calm him down, so I softly asked “Where is this coming from?”
“Just answer me!” he slammed his hand on the stereo.
The impact made the radio station switch channels.
It landed on K-Love 107.5 FM.

Now, not only am I half asleep on Franklin Ave & Garfield Pl. in East Hollywood.
But now I’m irritated on Franklin Ave & Garfield Pl. in East Hollywood, trying to figure out why the fuck I didn’t just pretend I was asleep in the first place.

”Are you even listening??” He asked. “Or are you just going to stay silent with that blank stare on your face?”

I stood silent with that blank stare on my face.

Conversations like this are always too hard for me to have.
I guess I am just like my daddy.

He continued ”I try man, I try everyday and you don’t. Just let me know. Let me know if this is done.”

My eyes slowly started to close as he was pouring his heart out to me.
Not because I was processing his words or anything.
But because… none of it was worth remembering.

Tears started running down his cheek as we sat in silence
and K-Love 107.5 FM started playing Rocio Durcal.

No cabe duda que, es verdad que la costumbre es más fuerte que el amor

I finally broke the silence.

“I like this song.”